If you want to be angry and have a bare knuckle, destructive, bloody verbal battle then simply disregard this article.
However, if you want to create better communication and have a more respectful, satisfying and civilized relationship there are some very clear and helpful strategies you can use. As always the strategies work only if you work them. So read on.
Agree On The Rules: Both partners should go into a discussion with the understanding of the following rules of behavior,
Stay Calm: Overreacting will not help in getting your point across.
Stay Focused: Keep on topic.
Stay Specific: Don’t generalize. Being vague often causes confusion and inaccuracy.
Stay On One Issue: It is often too confusing and counterproductive to address more than one thing at a time. Try to work on one topic until you both agree to change the subject.
Don't Interrupt: Let the other complete a thought and make their point before making your comment.
Don’t Exaggerate: Overstating what the truth is can diffuse a good position.
Don’t Minimize: Respect the other’s concern about a topic even though you might feel it is “no big deal”.
Express Feelings with Grace: Be honest and straightforward without losing your cool.
Don't Attack: The objective is to have a discussion, not a war. If you use “below the belt” tactics the atmosphere will turn ugly and the talk will become ineffective.
Don’t Make Up Facts: Speak the truth,,,,don’t fantasize.
Propose Solutions: Be ready to problem solve, not just “complain”. Ask your partner to brainstorm with you in finding good solutions you can both agree on.
Be Ready to Compromise: A good relationship is based on give and take. Don’t back your partner into a corner by sticking to only one course of action.
Schedule Another Discussion: Get into the habit of talking things through. If you approach difficult issues in this way you will avoid bloody battles and have much better communication.
