March 1, 2006
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Keeping An Open Mind
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The Blame Game
This is a game we all know. I don’t think there is anyone who can truthfully say that he or she has not played it. It is a game that is addictive and seductive and can cause untold damage to a relationship. It is a game with no winner! To blame someone is to hold them responsible for something. In general we would all agree that everyone needs to be responsible for his or her acts. However, in a relationship blaming often comes out of strong emotions and takes the form of accusations, recriminations and outright attacks. It may be that the partner doing the blaming is correct, however the way the message is conveyed causes the other partner to become defensive. Try to resist blaming when you are attempting to get your point across. Statements that are accusatory will set your partner up to become defensive almost immediately. If you want cooperation it is in your best interest to engage your partner with more neutral statements and manageable requests. |
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