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Affair Recovery
No matter how long a couple has been together or what they have experienced, learning of a spouse’s affair is usually devastating.
All important relationships are built on trust and when there is a breach of trust, the entire relationship and its meaning are called into question. There is no other single issue that creates as much uncertainty, doubt, disbelief and emotional disruption in a couple’s life.
The “hurt” spouse is often torn between blaming themselves and being furious with the unfaithful spouse. These emotions are frequently confusing and always difficult to manage.
In the years that I have been in the practice of psychotherapy, working with couples who are struggling with recovery after an affair still presents a most difficult challenge. Each spouse must come to grips with the cracks in their relationship and face disappointment in a way they may never have thought possible.
All of this hurt and confusion can become further compounded by the embarrassment and humiliation a spouse feels if and when friends and family become aware of the affair. It is a royal mess on all levels.
However, if a couple is prepared to do the work it ...
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Dynamics Of Betrayal
Most spouses or partners are completely unprepared emotionally when an affair is discovered. The shock is often so profound that they become paralyzed, unable to process just how terrible they really feel. The despair is so deep that it is akin to a sudden death of a loved one.
One wonders how such a thing is even possible. How can a husband, wife or lover whom you have trusted with your deepest feelings betray you? Did you miss something? Were there signs that you chose to neglect?...
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Coping: The Beginning
Once it has been discovered, an affair’s aftermath can be very ugly. If there is any hope for the individual or the couple to weather this event taking the time to reflect is critical.
This tear in the fabric of the relationship often takes a long time and a lot of hard work to repair, so be prepared. Some suggestions for getting through this very difficult period are listed below.
Don’t make hasty decisions. Despite feelings to the contrary, it is extremely...
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