|
March, 2010
During the past two years I have worked with more couples than ever who have been in bitter conflict with each other. It seems that the stress of the financial crisis along with the everyday stress of balancing life, work and family has caused many more couples to unravel.
Therefore I thought I would rerun a Newsletter that focused on how to have important conversations without hurting each other.
All couples argue. Conflict between people who have emotional ties to one another is inevitable. Conflict will arise when people disagree about perceptions, ideas, values and needs no matter how trivial the issue may appear to others.
I counsel a lot of couples in my practice and I have found that one of the most pervasive problems comes out of a partner’s inability to discuss or argue a subject well.
Here are some reasons for this: 1) never learned how to have an appropriate discussion about matters of importance; 2) never learned how to compromise; 3) there is a sense of competition that prevents one or the other from “giving in”, therefore “losing...
Please read on
|
Avoid The Blame Game
This is a game we all know. I don’t think there is anyone who can truthfully say that he or she has not played it. It is a game that is addictive and seductive and can cause untold damage to a relationship. It is a game with no winner!
To blame someone is to hold them responsible for something. In general we would all agree that everyone needs to be responsible their behavior.
However, in a relationship blaming often comes out of strong emotions and takes the form of accusat...
Please read on
|
|
Talking Without Bloodshed
If you want to be angry and have a bare knuckle, destructive, bloody verbal battle then simply disregard this article.
However, if you want to create better communication and have a more respectful, satisfying and civilized relationship there are some very clear and helpful strategies you can use. As always the strategies work only if you work them. So read on.
Agree On The Rules: Both partners should go into a discussion with the understanding of the follow...
Please read on
|
